I Broke Up with My Megabank in 3 Easy Steps (& You Can, Too!)

You know how it is: When things started out, your bank was so different — small, local, reliable. Then, everything changed. It was like your bank was taken over by someone else and kept changing and changing, till it was a completely different bank, and you didn’t know who it was anymore!

Your nightmare of mega-bank dependence can end now. YOU can take charge!

Step 1. Address Your Soon-to-Be Ex

Silver Bank of America mastercard with a pair of scissors just about to cut it.

"I think we both know what's coming."

Step 2. Make a Clean Break

Card cut into two pieces, scissors raised in air above.

"It's not me. It's you."

Step 3.  Watch Your Ex Go to Pieces

Credit card in three pieces with large, menacing scissors lying next to them.

"We both know I deserve better."

Now didn’t that feel good?

Actually, yes, it did!

And here are three practical steps to break up with your mega-bank:

1. Find someone who shares your dreams and values. (This Green America post tells you how to do it and provides some candidates.)

2. Ask them out. (“May I fill out a credit application with you?”) You can often do this over the phone or online! No worry about how you look!

3. After approval, contact your mega-bank and tell them, “It’s not me. It’s you.” And feel like the weight has just been lifted off your shoulders!


P.S. Are you thinking about The General Strike and Day of Mass Action this Wednesday, November 2? Have ideas about how we who #Occupyathome, can participate?


About Sharon Wachsler

Sharon Wachsler divides her time between writing, activism, and dog training — passions that overlap. Sharon has been a freelance writer and editor of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry for two decades, focusing primarily on lesbian erotica, disability rights and culture, humor, and service dogs and their training.
This entry was posted in Banks, Credit Cards, Humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I Broke Up with My Megabank in 3 Easy Steps (& You Can, Too!)

  1. Another thing:

    Go Local! Instead of going for a big bank, go for a local one or local credit union. These are often smaller, and have a better relationship with their customers. Because of the smaller, local nature, they tend to see the human element better than a mega bank does.

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